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Alenis Meru
Commanding Officer
Commanding Officer
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The Portland Pulse - July 31, 2391

Mon Mar 23, 2015 10:05 pm

The Portland Pulse
July 31, 2391

Lost Tribe Found!

Clark Kent

One of the fabled lost tribes of Bajor has been located on Gamia III. Having left Bajor centuries ago in lightships, historians suspect that there have been several lost tribes due to successive waves of pilgrims, however the Gamians are the first to have been confirmed to have survived the journey and to still be alive today.

The lost tribe is located in the Gamia system, further out than it was thought possible to travel with lightships. It has been theorized that an errant tachyon wind may have brought them to Gamia III.

An official delegation is en route to Gamia III, with the goal of re-establishing relations with the Gamians and allowing them to return home.

Tolic Shard Returns Home

Paddy Glynn

The 5th Tolic Shard has finally returned to its rightful place on Bajor.

Yesterday, in a ceremony at the Waterfront Hall on Ashalla, the shard was presented to Kai Sellra by Admiral Washington, representing Starfleet, and Commander Alenis Meru of the USS Portland.

“The return of this shard is a testament to Federation-Bajoran cooperation,” said Admiral Washington. “Our relationship with Bajor has only gotten stronger over the years, and as members of the Federation, Bajor can expect full cooperation in matters concerning the theft of religious artifacts.”

It was an emotional moment for Commander Alenis, as her family was forced to flee Bajor almost three decades ago. “It’s an indescribable feeling to set foot on Bajor once again,” she said, “I haven’t been home since I was a little girl.”

The ceremony itself was rather exciting, as the guest of honour, Lt. Tyrlai Zade, working with the crew of the Portland, managed to stop two thieves of religious artifacts from making off with the shard. The two suspects were apprehended, but escaped from custody shortly thereafter.

There were reports of an altercation outside the hall during the ceremony involving two of the Portland’s crew, but any further details were unavailable as of press time.

Chief Morale Officer’s Report

Acting Ensign Ko-ko

For the month of July (measured as June 26-July 26), we had 19 posts. This is down from our record of 36 posts last month, and can likely be chalked up to the summer slump and an increase in LOAs as we get into prime camping season. The month of August has already gotten off to a great start, and I can see a lot of JPs in progress in the workshop, so I predict that we will beat that number this month.

Still, we’ve moved the story forward significantly, wrapping up Mission 2 (The Banquet) and starting Mission 3 (Pilgrims). There are still some loose ends from Mission 2, however, including a mysterious growth that Alenis has developed, and Jason’s pon farr. We’re currently en route to Gamia III on a diplomatic mission to reunite Bajor with a lost tribe of Bajorans that left their home in lightships centuries ago. We’ve done a lot of Bajor-related missions, so after this mission we will likely have another shore leave, and then deal with something else for a mission or two.

Congratulations are in order for Lt. Cmdr. Timothy Rouse, who passed the Executive Officer course with 75% and earned the Training Badge award. Also, congratulations go out to Lieutenant Jason Beauvoir on his recent promotion.

Finally, I’d like to give a warm Portland welcome to Lt. Parker Hudson, who will be joining us as our Chief Engineering Officer. Welcome aboard, Lieutenant!

Captain's Corner: Why I Hate "Simming"

Commander Alenis Meru

The word "Simming," that is.

What do we call the Portland and that thing we do on it? In Obsidian Fleet, the most common term is a “simm” and “simming” – and though it is a term that I use often, it is one which makes me cringe slightly every time I type it.

You will forgive me for writing an entire article about terminology, but there is a point here.

Let us start with the term “simm.” Where does it come from? It comes from an abbreviation for the word “simulation.” And isn’t that a fair description of what we’re doing here? We create our characters in order to place them into certain situations in the Star Trek universe and see how they react and interact, always keeping faithful to realistic notions of cause and effect, actions and reactions?

Welllllll, not really.

The goal of a simulation is to represent reality as accurately possible. The problem is that reality is rather boring. Space is mostly empty space, and I’m sure most Starfleet officers spend the majority of their careers performing mundane tasks like charting gaseous anomalies and ferrying diplomats to and from boring conferences.

And no one would want to watch a show about the 99% of the time that the gaseous anomaly is just a gaseous anomaly.

In short, while a good simulation requires sticking to probable and realistic outcomes, a good story requires bending the laws of probability, allowing for unlikely but interesting outcomes, and letting our awesome heroes beat the odds once in a while.

Just think of the astounding coincidences that happened on the USS Portland so far:
- Arvel being assigned to a ship commanded by an old flame
- Timothy’s mystery date turning out to not only be a nurse on the Portland, but also the Admiral’s daughter
- Jason’s pon farr acting up during a delicate diplomatic dinner, of all places.
- The Portland being attacked by, of all people, a former associate of the Chief Intelligence Officer

And I could go on. The odds of any one of these happening are remote, the odds of all of them happening are infinitesimal. We may have failed as a simulation, but damn if it hasn’t been a cool story so far.

Or, to use a more succinct example: Think of how boring an action movie would be if the physics were realistic. I’m sure we can all agree that the Hollywood result of our hero using a twisted ramp-shaped piece of debris as a motorcycle jump to launch himself into the door of a passing helicopter while spraying bad guys with bullets from the Uzi in his off-hand is much more awesome and badass than the realistic and likely result.

The other problem with thinking of it as a simulation is that it encourages us to think of our characters as fixed variables. A good role-player sticks to their character, always making the realistic choice in accordance with their bio and their personality, that sort of thing.

While I’m not suggesting we throw away our entire characters’ personalities on a whim, sometimes it’s better for the story if we step outside of what our character’s likely reaction to a situation may be. Instead, think first of what action our character can do that would benefit the story, and afterwards figure out how to justify it based on what we know (or are about to find out) about our character’s personality. Our characters are constantly changing, and one of the interesting things about roleplaying is that no matter how tl;dr your bio is, you can always learn something new about your character through play.

Besides, no one wants to watch the three really long movies about the Hobbit who went “you want me to do WHAT with that ring?” and spent the rest of his short and uneventful life frolicking in the Shire while Sauron raised an invincible army and took over the world, even if that is an accurate simulation of what Frodo would have done.

Quit whining and pack your Baggins, you’ve got a quest ahead of you!

Instead of being guided by notions of realism and sticking true to the simulation, it is better to be guided by dramatic principles and a desire for a good story.

So, what’s a good term?

There is “play-by-forum role-playing game,” which I believe appears somewhere on the USS Portland’s website, and is a bit of a mouthful. I do think that the term “role-playing game” or RPG is a little better because it’s a little closer to what we’re actually doing – creating a character and playing his or her role in an emerging story. It also emphasizes that it's a game, which is a good thing because we've all met people who take what we do way too seriously. But it’s also got some baggage, not the least of which is an association with nerds sitting in a basement, eating Cheetos and talking in funny voices while they pretend to be Dwarven knights, while rolling polyhedral dice and consulting forms that look like they were produced by the Canada Revenue Agency to determine if they cut off a goblin’s head with their battleaxe or not.

Okay, guilty as charged.

But the other little piece of baggage with the term role-playing game is the association with traditional tabletop RPGs where the DM is a god sitting behind a screen. He’s driving the bus, coming up with all the plot ideas and railroading the players through them, trying to keep the troops entertained and maybe even offer them the illusion of choice as the story unfolds. Traditionally, tabletop RPGs have been rather simulationist affairs, where players are not allowed to take initiative of their own, and instead are constantly asking the DM questions like "What does my character see?" or "What happens next?"

And that’s something that I'd like to get away from. The Portland isn't my game, it's everyone's. And everyone has a stake in creating cool and interesting stories, not just me.

That’s why I prefer the term “collaborative storytelling.” It’s descriptive and accurate, in that really, what we’re doing is collaborating to tell a story. And it’s a term that I think emphasizes player empowerment. Instead of just sticking to one role in a simulation or playing just one role in a story, it emphasizes that the story – and all story elements, including the ship, plot-critical NPCs, and yes, even the BBEG (Big Bad Evil Guy), belong to all the players. Under “collaborative storytelling,” all players, not just the DM, have the freedom to add to the story, build off of it, and move it in cool and interesting directions.

That said, “collaborative storytelling” seems to be in no danger of replacing “simming” in the lexicon of our community anytime soon, so until then, my displeasure with the term will just have to be my own cross to bear.

Quotes of the Month

“Welcome home, Meru.”
-Kai Pralon


"I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but my daughter is serving on your ship. Ellen Washington is my pride and joy, and if anything happens to her while she is under your command, I will personally make sure you spend the rest of your days flying a cargo ship full of rubber dog toys out of Bolarus IX. You hear me?"
-Adm. Washington


“I’m pregnant.”
-Ellen Washington


"So is synthahol good for disruptor pain?”
Lt. Tyrlai Zade


“Hey, kid. Welcome to the Portland… Do you know what a Portland is?...”

“It’s an old Earth sea creature, with three segmented pods with nine tentacles each and row after row of sharp bristling teeth… I will program one for you on the holodeck. It will be fun, most of the kids survived the last time.”
-Lt. Tyrlai Zade


Meanwhile, Jason sat in the corner sipping his Kava root tea and watching people pretend to enjoy themselves. It wasn't helping much. Then a thought struck him, one that made his fevered blood run cold. Pon farr. That little gift courtesy of his maternal grandfather. He had to get out of here. To find somewhere to meditate, before the fecal matter collided with the atmospheric systems.
-Lt. Jason Beauvoir


"Mr. Rouse, have you ever heard of something called pon farr?"

"I have," chirped Ros, half her face hidden behind the lens of a handheld camera. She lowered it, turning it over to flick it off. She almost seemed to sigh. "I will probably have to delete the footage in that case..."
-Cmdr. Alenis Meru and Rostrenen T’Sering


"He has to have sex… I am not sure if a holodeck simulation would work but it would be worth a shot.”

"Well, in that case," replied Alenis, "work with Dr. Darze to find him a suitable holodeck program. I'm sure there is something in the database that you can, ahem, prescribe."
-Cmdr. Alenis Meru and Lt. (JG) Brad Silverton


I'm sure your..." Washington looked over the assembled officers "...diplomatic prowess will be a great asset on the mission ahead."
-Adm. Washington
Capt. Alenis Meru
Commanding Officer
USS Portland

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