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Alenis Meru
Commanding Officer
Commanding Officer
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The Portland Pulse - December 29, 2391

Mon Mar 23, 2015 10:28 pm

The Portland Pulse
December 29, 2391

Escaped fugitive found on Gamia III
Paddy Glynn

Inaji Narale, an escaped Cardassian fugitive wanted for the murder of her father, Gul Narale, has been recaptured on Gamia III, a neutral planet near the Federation-Cardassian border. Efforts to extradite her to face justice on Cardassia are underway.

When asked if he knew anything about this fugitive, the exasperated-looking Admiral Washington appeared frustrated and then chased our reporter out of his office with an antique fire-poker. He was later heard cursing loud enough to be heard through the door, interspersing strings of profanities with the words “Gamia,” “Portland,” and “Alenis.”

Rumours that the escaped fugitive has some connection to a crew member on a Federation starship are unconfirmed.

Business Report: Console Manufacturers see Steady Growth
Clark Kent

Nanosoft and Orange, the two largest manufacturers of computer equipment in the Alpha Quadrant, have both released their fourth quarter earnings reports. In spite of increased prices for certain raw materials, both companies have seen steady growth, largely as a result of their lucrative contracts to supply Starfleet with consoles.

“We had a difficult time in the aftermath of the Dominion War. With the galaxy at peace, consoles just weren’t exploding on bridges as much as they used to, and we had to downsize and make some tough decisions,” explained Nanosoft CEO Gil Bates. “Sure, there was the occasional Borg attack, but you don’t see a lot of consoles being blown up on mundane survey missions.”

“Fortunately,” continued Mr. Bates, “as long as Starfleet officers still have fingers, there will always be a market for replacement consoles.”

The charismatic Bolian CEO of Orange, Bleve Bobbs, agrees. “Our market is very stable, and we are confident in our abilities to hold on to our market share,” he stated at a press conference yesterday.

Collectively, both companies control over 95% of the market share for consoles in the Federation. They have both been the target of criticism for alleged monopolistic practices, and allegations that they refuse to install safety precautions to prevent console explosions in an effort to increase sales of replacement console parts.

Chief Morale Officer’s Report
Acting Ensign Ko-ko

Wow! What a month!

Last month I set a goal of 40 posts. I thought this would be a challenging but achievable goal. We totally blew that goal out of the water with 72 posts, counting per participant! That’s awesome!

The detailed breakdown is as follows:

Lower Decks: 3 raw, 10 per participant
Main Mission: 29 raw, 62 per participant

Total: 32 raw, 72 per participant**

We also welcomed aboard three new players, Lt. (J.G.) Thoval sh’Kor, Lt. (J.G.) Amata Zan, and Lt. (J.G.) Delainey Carlisle into the Chief Tactical Officer, Assistant Chief Security Officer, and Assistant Chief Counselor positions. With these new arrivals, we’ve got almost our entire senior staff either filled out, or spoken for and awaiting the moving on of an NPC (*ahem* Grel…)

December was a great month, and as we start bringing this mission to a close, lets see if we can keep that momentum up in January!

Finally, as one more piece of good news, a little bird told me that the winner of the November 2014 Gold Unit of Merit award was the Portland's sister ship, the USS Endeavour. Congratulations to Captain Banninga (aka: Timothy Rouse), and all the Endeavour crew!

Captain’s Corner: Year in Review
Captain Alenis Meru

As 2014 comes to a close, I think it worthwhile to reflect on our year on the USS Portland.

We started out from humble beginnings. Personally, I wasn’t expecting to take on a CO role at that time, but events beyond my control encouraged me to put in a CO application sooner than I expected. I remembered how nervous I was when I first applied to become a CO in Obsidian Fleet. Given the high failure rate of simms, and the number of simms out there that are inactive, I was concerned that whatever I would run would be added to that number. I didn’t know how on earth I’d be able to get enough players to get out of RIO, never mind to become a successful simm.

But got out of RIO we did! Soon we had five crew members, then seven, then eleven. By the end of the year, we had nearly filled out all the department head positions and had each position filled at one point.

I initially asked for a multirole ship, something perhaps a little older. Starting out on the original series and the original six movies, I’m a fan of the classic lines of the old-school ships like the Constitution, Excelsior, and Ambassador class. I was offered a few choices of ships/classes, but the one which leaped out at me was the Miranda class vessel the USS Portland. Despite the rantings of a few in the fleet who think Mirandas are too old and should be scrapped, I think it was a wise choice. As the only Miranda in the fleet and probably the oldest ship in the fleet, it’s certainly sets us apart from the pack and gives our characters some unique challenges and opportunities that aren’t there on your cookie-cutter late 24th century cruiser. I think we’ve definitely proved the Miranda naysayers wrong over the past nine months.

We’ve had a great year. There are some simms in Obsidian Fleet which regularly have post counts less than 20 or even in the single digits – and that’s counting each post by the number of participants, not the number of posts. On the Portland, 30 posts would be a quiet month. We’ve had months which were over 50, and our last month had a whopping 72 posts. We’ve been recognized as one of the stronger simms in the fleet, winning the silver Unit of Merit award twice.

Of course, the numbers only tell half the story. Quality counts for something as well, and we’ve had a lot of exciting moments. Fighting Vike and the pirates, messing up a fancy banquet, creating pon farr holograms, and knocking up the admiral’s daughter have to be some of the highlights. Every crew member on the Portland has had their moments.

So, what do we have in store for next year?

We’ve got a lot of ideas in the works. First, we’d like to wrap up our current mission and move on to dealing with some of the consequences – talking to the admiral, as well as figuring out what to do with our new hologram. I’m sure by the end of it, we’ll have a lot more messes to clean up.

We’ve got a couple ideas for missions in the works. There is a Joint Mission being planned with the Endeavour, which will involve saving the Federation and the entire Alpha Quadrant from a Borg invasion – nothing too special, just another day at the office on the Portland. Another mission idea we have floating around here is trying to stop Vike from selling his stolen cloaking device to the Breen. Finally, we still have the sixth Tolic shard somewhere in this galaxy to find. And of course, the command staff is always open to hearing mission ideas from players, and players are totally free to run whatever side missions they come up with in the Lower Decks.

In addition to our mission ideas, we’ve also got some ideas for new experimental technology to try out. One of the advantages of the Miranda class is that as an old, reliable design with decades of service under its belt, it’s a perfect testbed for new technologies.

Finally, my goal is to simply build on the success of the past year. We’ve got an awesome team, and I’d like to steadily expand that team and grow our activity levels. I think we have something special on the Portland with how we tell cool and interesting stories that keep people’s attention, and I’d like to continue that in 2015.

For this great year, I’d like to thank all the crew of the Portland, especially those who stuck with it and became fixtures here. We’ve got a great crew and a great command staff, and I mean it when I say we’ve accomplished a lot in the past year, and none of that would have happened without the collective efforts of all of us.

So, here’s to a great year behind us, and another one ahead of us!

Quotes of the Month

"Can you access the audio entertainment settings in room 3-A-6? I need a Klingon opera of your choosing, maximum volume."

- Alenis Meru

"I've heard some good news a little while ago; they think they'll be able to help your father with his... 'issues'... as early as tomorrow."
"Really? How?... On second thought, I don't want to know the details."

- Alenis Meru and Coln Jena

“You mean the fourteen year old part-human part-Vulcan girl that the Kai called a half-breed? No. No. No, no, no, no! You want to bring a 14 year old girl into these negotiations?! This is madness!”

- Mr. Fero, upon being informed that Jena will be taking charge of the negotiations

"Lieutenant? Where am I? Did something go wrong with the scan? And why am I wearing a--… I'm... a hologram?"

- EMH Mark I (modified)

"You sent that harlot of a diplomatic officer snooping around? If she was caught, that could have been the end of these negotiations!"
"Tyrlai doesn't get caught,"

- Mr. Rass and Alenis Meru

"Parker, thought Id stop by and let you know Ive traced some resonant readings to a cave system north of the warehouse and I think it might be filled with strange superpowered terrorists. Oh, hi Captain, didn't see you there… So, you're busy then. I'll leave you all to, um, whatever this is… It's not really my job anymore but I'm guessing at least one person here needs some counseling.”

- Tyrlai Zade

“Okay. It’s good. It’s all good. Maybe to him it was just a platonic thing. Maybe he drinks beer and goes for long walks on the beach with all his friends. That could just be how he welcomes all his new crew into his department.”

- Nikki Barclay

“Turn me into my mother you little,…”

- Tyrlai Zade

"One more question, Lieutenant... why do you have a monkey?"

- Alenis Meru

“You’re late.”
“I’m early.”
“You’re disrespectful.”

- Grel and Amata Zan
“Just do me a favour. When this is all said and done… make sure you delete that holo-program, okay?”

- Alenis Meru

“Then we’ll do this the old fashioned way.”

- Timothy Rouse, right before attempting to murder the EMH with a phaser

"Computer. activate the EMH."
"Unable to comply. The EMH has been taken offline."

- Brad Silverton and the ship’s computer
Capt. Alenis Meru
Commanding Officer
USS Portland

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